Rev. Carolyn A Underwood, PhD
Doctor of Transpersonal Psychology & Complementary and Alternative Medicine
Clinical RoHun™ Therapist
Traditional Reiki Master Teacher
Metaphysician Practitioner

Mooresville, NC

Member of The Healing Works Professional Association, The RoHun™ Professional
Association & The International Registry of Spiritual Healers.

Mindful Matters Blog
                                                        Finding Inner Peace

Right now in our society, the voice within is so strong that people can’t contain it, the
discontent is at an all-time high, blaming and distraction are rampant. Over-all nothing has
really changed. The world is the same as it has been for years. Today, how many people do
you see buried in their smart phone? How many people are blaming others for what is or isn’t
going on? If you believe you are oppressed then you will be oppressed, and looking for what or
who to blame. The bully we need to be worried about comes from within us. You can’t be a
victim, if you do not believe you are one.

The only time we are triggered is a result of us mistakenly believing that there is something
wrong with us. You know why most people can’t be by themselves for too long without
distraction, because we can’t stand to be with own feelings, feelings that come from us not
others.  Try saying this and see how you feel? “I am responsible for how I feel!”.  At first it may
not feel good. This is a very profound statement, and one which can set you free. Just
remember that you did not do this on purpose, you have been programmed to believe the
origin of feelings and problems come from the outside.

Contrary to popular belief, it is not your mother in law who judges you, it is not your boss who
belittles you, it is not a politician’s rhetoric , and it is not your inconsiderate neighbor who is
the source of your negative feelings. Everything they do just triggers how you already feel
about yourself. The only reason you are trigger by them is that you believe what you think
they are implying. Why would it matter what they say if you didn’t buy into it. The battle is
within, but our denial of ownership keeps us in a prison. We have no power over a resolution
or source that is always outside ourselves. When we do not accept responsibility we relinquish
our power to change it.

When I say change it, I do not mean having the other person apologize or change their
behavior. Our power only is effective within ourselves; we are able to change how we feel or
believe about someone or something. All your feelings originate within, you’re the one who
feels them. A thought or belief has no power until it is energized with emotion that can be
positive or negative depending on the nature of belief or thought.  For instance: if our belief is
that we are never good enough, then we are powerless to circumstances that intimate that
feeling. The lens in which we view life, people circumstances will seek confirmation that “We
are not Good enough. It is called a self-fulfilling prophesy.  The faulty beliefs we hold about
ourselves basically run our life. We subconsciously seek out circumstances which reflect that
back at us. Have you noticed that people are triggered differently by the same source? It all
depends on their own faulty beliefs, ones that don’t have a faulty belief don’t even notice a
problem, and the ones that do, are upset. It’s a matter of taking it personally, or not.

When you are triggered look at your reaction, do you become spiteful, resentful, angry,
shameful or hurt. You may be pointing it outward, but you are really judging that part of
yourself that is buying into the lie of who you are. I have had many times in my life where
someone said something that felt like a stab wound in my heart. I felt like such a victim of
them, they held my happiness within their grasp, or so I thought at the time. Have you heard
yourself ever say “I’d be happy if they or it would be different”.  This is an illusion, and once we
get what we want, it doesn’t last long. It becomes an addiction. The source where we are
getting it is not a lasting source, and because we are looking for it on the outside, we never
can find a permanent cure. Let’s be honest, there are always “difficult people and
circumstances to deal with, that’s life but our perception and interaction of those people and
events can change when we believe differently about ourselves.

It’s not easy taking responsibility for how you feel, but it is the only way to freedom. If you do
not really believe those faulty thoughts, what others do will not bother you; the reactional
feelings of hatred, resentment, and anger will leave your consciousness. When you set
yourself free, you set others free. Next time you are triggered, ask yourself, what do I believe
about myself that is not true? Then replace that thought with something positive.  This
practice takes determination, awareness, persistence and patience.  I use my journal to get to
the bottom of my faulty thoughts. You may want to ask yourself, how did I feel when so and so
said or did that? If it was unimportant, then say to yourself I am important, I do matter. Say it
like this: “Carolyn you are important”. Make sure you direct it at you by name. It takes time to
believe this new way of thinking, so keep doing it even if it feels fake or awkward. In time you
will feel its power and healing effects. The first time you don’t react to someone feels
wonderful, so liberating and powerful. It is well worth the effort!

In Light & Love, Carolyn

  • All Energy Healing, Enlightenment Processes and Spiritual Coaching Sessions are spiritually based therapies
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